MyThoughts

Just when I thought I was so patient and persistent in taking care of my dear Julia, a very good friend of mine (Maricar) who is in China with her family happened to tell me her recent experience with her son, Elisha Joey (EJ) and suddenly my self-perspective as a mom changed.

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Background of the story: Maricar is planning to enroll EJ in China as she will teach English for a few hours while her husband (Joey) is working fulltime.

And now the full story (copy-pasted from one of our skype conversations): at first when the head teacher knew that Elisha was only 22months, she was hesitant. But then maybe just to accommodate us, she showed us the book. She’s a chinese that knows how to speak English well…When she showed me the book, ABC ila topic for 4 year old kids. So I waited for her to finish then she asked, DO YOU THINK HE CAN ALREADY HANDLE THESE LESSONS? hihi..I was very very excited to show off EJ’s talent!!! So I told her, WATCH! So i started pointing the letters and the objects to Elisha and guess what?! HE PERFECTED EVERYTHING!!! even their school’s name nga all capital letters sa book,
PERFECT ANG SPELLING!!! pati ang colors and shapes!!! She got so impressed that she told me, OH PLS. WAIT, I’LL CALL MY HEAD MASTER SO SHE CAN DECIDE! haha…abi nila ha!

* Note- some terms are in our native dialect, Ilonggo…

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EJ might be gifted… but that did not strike me more than the thought of Maricar’s persistence and dedication in training her son despite her busy schedule as she used to be an english teacher to the koreans. I’ve shared this story with my hubby and I got the same reaction… “See, that’s because Maricar is persistent in teaching her son!”… he said I should be encouraged but truth is, I am pressured thinking that it is also possible for Julia to learn ABC’s at an early age. I assessed myself on how I train Julia… she never had a schedule. No learning time, no playtime, no sleep curfews, etc etc. Everything is done on HER time, what she wants to do at a certain period… am I wrong? We are not spoiling her, it’s just that I don’t want her to have a fixed schedule, hehe…

So, while I was preparing our lunch, the idea of seriously teaching her keeps nagging at me. I justified, “Julia never listens, she doesn’t want to be taught, she will just cry and get mad.” But then, my conscience asked me, “Is it really Julia you’re worried about? Or is it yourself, afraid that you might not have enough patience and persistence?” I hate admitting this but the answer is, I am afraid to take the challenge which I fully understand that I have to. It’s not the ABC’s or the shapes and colors that she learns but instilling in her the idea of excellence at an early age as the main objective.

I’m sure glad I have a friend who encourages me and reminds me on how my Julia should be raised up and who cares for her, too. I may never produce an EJ but I can try… besides, my Julia is just as perfect as she is = )

You have been a blessing to me, Car and I’m glad God has bound us together despite the distance, that’s true friendship. I miss you, dear… I’m sure, you miss me more ; )

P.S.: I still don’t agree on fixed marriage, hahaha…

I’ve been dying to write about who I think are the top 4 most desirable men… I am just delaying it for a while because I want to publish it on Father’s Day but I can’t contain my excitement any longer so tadaaaa… here goes!

My pick:

#4 Joseph Wong - He is my brother dearest… very handsome and a certified hunkie. In his teenage years, habulin sya ng chicks and a very happy go lucky lad… when I went to his school with him, everyone’s calling him “WONG!”, of course, I turned around too because I also carry the surname Wong that time, hihi… that is how known he was to his batch and to the girls but when he got married and had a beautiful daughter, KC, everything changed. HIs life turned upside down. And surprisingly, he became very responsible and mature, always prioritizing KC’s needs. This hunkie turned to be a cool dad and a loving husband, never embarassed of what he’ll do to meet his family’s needs. This made him my #4 pick. “Dear Bro, you’ve got a long way to go but I know you can handle everything well… Manang loves you, mwaah!”

#3 Ulysses Palacios - My dad-in-law… he’s an ilonggo like me so he must be sweet, too… hehe. I knew him better because of my hubby’s stories and most importantly, because of what my hubby has become. This man is a disciplinarian but a loving dad, manually extracting nose discharges from his children for them to sleep well when they’re sick… amazing, right? He may be strict during his children’s growing years but now, he is the kind of dad that never meddles with his children’s affairs, trusting them of their decisions and on rearing his grandchildren. He is indeed a good pick.

#2 Antonio Wong, Sr. - Needless to say, he’s my popsy… this man taught me to be a fighter for life, never to be a quitter… our family life has it’s ups and downs but he never gave up. We’ll, he actually dislikes family gatherings because he is more of a “barkadista” type, if he goes to a family affair, he tags along one or two of his buddies or he doesn’t attend at all. I used to hate him for this but as I mature, I learn to accept him as everyone has his flaws. The important thing is, he loves us so dearly and he is willing to compromise… one very unforgettable event was during my wedding… I thought we will have a hard time convincing him to wear his coat and tie and to go to the hotel prior to the wedding for pictorial but to my glee, he was there early and he was furious because my brothers were late!!! Up until the party ended, he stayed with us, his barkadas 20meters away. I love my dad, I may not show it consistently but he’s been my hero all along… gosh, I’m crying! I need to stop describing this awesome man…

#1 Immanuel Palacios - My Hubby… the hunk I chose to marry and live with for the rest of my life, for better or worse, in sickness and in health. He is a man of principles and convictions… a good provider… to some, he may appear meek and yes, that’s true in the sense that he is full of self control, patience and a gentle spirit but not true in the sense that a NO is never a YES or a CAN BE to him. In short, he is decisive and strong-willed. He means what he says and says what he means. Ooh, but he sometimes cave in to Julia’s cravings… he can’t resist his sweet little girl who looks exactly like him, to the bones = ( Unlike any other typical guy, he helps me with my household chores and he is NEVER ashamed of this as he is not a stereotype. See, it takes a REAL MAN to go beyond what is expected of him. By the way, I should say this… he is gwapo with breeding… you should see his muscles na walang ka-effort effort, hehe… the main reason I married him, haha… of course not! I married him because I love him but I know he loves me more ; ) I salute you, bunch… you are the man!!!! I love you beyond words = )

Happy Father’s Day… we only live once so let’s make this day extra special. God bless us!

The idea of being a working mom is lurking within me lately… I miss having responsillities, challenges and even the stress that a job may give me. Not to mention of course, the added compensation that we will benefit from. I’m NEVER ever a careerwoman and it was my dream to be a full time mom but there comes a point that I want a temporary career shift. Of course, my husband wouldn’t want me to because he wants us to be together as a family and besides, when Julia goes to school, he says I can work if I want to, provided of course, we have another child to justify the need for extra income. The additional child, I have no qualms because I love children.

Anyway, I thought about my purpose of working and the main reason is NOT so valid… extra income + self-fulfillment < child-rearing + complete family. Simple equation that I had come up with which I am happy to discover. Furthermore, my friend’s blog has validated this equation… it’s not anymore about me but God’s will for me and my family. I would want Julia to be a God-fearing woman and a loving daughter so what better way but to be a hands on mom… I want my marriage to last, free from temptations so needless to say, we have to be together as much as possible.

Therefore, the hidden desire vanished… I am once again a contented homemaker… and a working mom with an even greater responsibility = ) Besides, I work 24/7… who’s tougher than that?

… for keeping me company when I’m bored and got nothing to do
… for once again seeing my long lost friends and keeping in touch with them
… for giving me a venue to write whatever pops out my head

Just small and simple things which can sometimes be taken for granted but highly appreciated by someone like me = )

I received a phonecall from my hubby telling me to prepare our itinerary in July… I asked him, “Are we really going home… has your new contract been approved?” And the answer is a sweet sweet YES!

You see, we’ve been waiting for this confirmation before we can finally pack our bags… we need to know if we’ll need the bigger boxes should we be going home for good or just a few months off. Now that we’re just having a long vacation, I’m beginning to get excited and to think about what we’ll be bringing home. We need to shop for pasalubongs as well. Not on my luggage are: 1) My buddy Mac - I don’t want to spend my vacation in front of him, we need to take some time off, hihi… 2) Our DSLR - My sweetheart wants to pursue his hobby and the best time is when he is alone… he can’t concentrate with Julia goofing around and asking him to play with him in her 2 syllable words, ah-ah… and 3) my usual old old clothes - Hehe, I believe clothes made in the Philippines are better looking and more stylish and it’s reasonably priced.

All I want to do is spend all of my time with my family (of course, with my second family, too - the Palacioses) and let Julia play with her dear cousins… actually, this is the most exciting part for me… I can’t wait to see them running around and screaming! Julia was only 4months old when we left so everyone is excited to see her… my mom even kept on bugging me to go home ASAP as she is telling my 2 yr old niece, KC, that we are coming home and that she should share her toys with Julia and teach her how to sing and dance (my niece already knows Julia and calls her Ju-ya when she sees her picture… how cute!). I’m sure my ever sociable and cheerful Julia will be happy to see her, too = ) Good thing that Julia can speak Ilonggo, hehe…

Oh, I am also excited to cook for them… I’m not the best cook but I’m a better cook than the rest of my family, haha! Ssshhh… it’s supposed to be a secret. Nel’s dad is of course, the master chef… can’t wait to pig out at the Palacios table, hehe = ) The Palacios clan will be complete this time so Julia will meet her US-based cousins.

Here are some pictures before we left our motherland last year…

I thank the Lord that we are given the opportunity to stay in Taiwan… it’s the land of milk and honey for us, hehe… and most importantly, we like it here because life is so simple, the taiwanese finds joy in simple things and we have friends who are like family to us = )

I know now how to attach pix in my posts… thanks Yvette! More amazingly, some of my friends asked me how I did it, they too wanted to add pictures on their posts… hahaha, I am not alone in this naivety! The housewife is still more techy… in fact, if there’s such thing as a friendster maniac… you should know who that is = )

It was another company outing for us… we went to Tainan despite the raging rain and gloomy weather. No doubt, the trip was quite a bore because we all got wet, went to only 2 places where there’s not much to see and we didn’t have a lot of pix, hehe! I was just hoping that Julia was strong enough to resist catching flu… thankfully, she’s doing fine up to this writing = )

We took a boat ride to a place where they cultivate oysters. The place was ok, if not for the rain because there were trees along the way which I believe is good for pictorial purposes, hehe. However, I have no evidence whatsoever due to the pouring rain… we wouldn’t dare soak our camera on the rain = ( Prior to that, we passed through what seems to be an irrigation… I don’t know what that was because our tour guide was speaking mandarin all throughout… how will I understand?! Julia felt bored and busied herself with what else… my big earrings and hair! Sometimes, it helps that I accessorize = ) When we docked, guess what was offered to us… yup, oysters, oysters and oysters. We went to a local restau afterwards where we had chicken, asparagus, noodles and fried flour stuffed with oysters!!! Can you imagine the taste?! Though I am not a picky eater, I didn’t enjoy the food except for the “machang” (I even took some home, hehe). Of course, my husband enjoyed it for sometimes, he likes to try exotic food.

In the afternoon, we were given an hour to walk around an area where there were tainan delicacies… we were not supposed to go out but Julia is getting uneasy staying on the bus. So come rain or high waters, we walked around while my husband kept on complaining about his wet rubbershoes which felt like a boat, hehe… needless to say, we found nothing so special… few stores were open and we saw the usual stuff… nothing extraordinary.

Finally, we headed home where we long to be… how relaxing it was just to watch tv, eat and play with Julia.

It just popped out my mind while I was washing Julia’s bottles… I wanna share what Julia has taught me unconsciously:

Greater Faith in God
When she was still at my womb, I had an ovarian cyst and it was bigger than she was (she at 1.67cm and my cyst at 10.18cm to be exact)! My OB gyne even told us that I will be scheduled for operation if the cyst will not disappear or shrink and worse, if it grows at 12cm before my 4th month, there will be abortion in the process! I cried a lot during those times but I realized, I MUST trust Him more and just stay calm for He is in control. Praise Him… on my 4th month, the cyst went down to 4cm and on the 7th month, it no longer existed! Isn’t that amazing?! And even better, my Julia was getting healthier and more active (she even has her coil around her neck when she was delivered). Well, that was God’s way of reminding me to always muster my faith.

Patience
Yes, I am a woman who always want to have anything ASAP… no delays. I don’t like to procrastinate and I hate waiting (ask Nel and he will agree 101%). Sadly, my Julia has poor appetite… she hates milk and being taught from the basic “close-open” to “how old are you?”. Under ordinary conditions, I would just let her be because I don’t want to be irritated if she’ll not follow me… but since I want her to grow healthy physically and mentally, I patiently hold her bottle, waiting for her to consume her milk and at times wrestle with her before she finally opens her tiny mouth… I run after her just to offer her lunch and dinner which I end up eating… I constantly teach her the parts of the body to the point that she cries because she wants to learn things on her own… things I never imagined doing repeatedly. I’m sure, this is no sweat to some of you but for me, it’s a tough job.

Being Calm
As impatient as I am, it is no surprise that I am not calm… one spark and I’ll ignite, hehe… I hate clutter but with my Julia in her toddler years, tidiness is close to impossible. Amazingly, I simply can’t shout or get mad at her. I don’t know how I manage… I just talk to her gently. Maybe because I want her to become a gentle fine lady someday by teaching through example.

Being Selfless
Ooopss… I’m not that selfish as you may think but now, I always make sure that she gets the better share of our resources and blessings.

Acceptance
I used to think of her as the perfect child… fast learner, gifted, skillful, sociable, etc etc… but I learned that whatever she becomes, I will always accept her for who she is, no matter what. I just pray that she will be a woman of character with strong faith in God which for me is far more important than any achievement.

The list goes on and on but this is all for now… Julia is already awake and as usual, I will wrestle with her for her milk ; )

Mama… mamita… mommy… nanay… all these terms simply suggest the idea of motherhood. How time flies… I’m celebrating Mothers’ Day with my mom and grandmothers, guess i’m getting old, hehe… Well, the first time I celebrated it, we had nothing so special, just dinner out with my mom and a special day at church. Of course, as emotional as I am, I cried as the children at church gave away roses to mothers, young and old… can you imagine that?! I just thought of my Julia greeting me (she was almost 3mos then) and the tears started rolling down my blushing cheeks, no way to stop them. How much more if she can talk and greet me with matching hugs and kisses?! I bet I will be down on my knees sobbing = ) Is that so silly? I can’t help it, that’s just me…

This time of the year, I get to be reminded of sefless mothers (not that I only do this once a year but the occassion calls for it)… the first person that comes to my mind is none other than my mom (she will always be number one on my list, by the way). I remember her when we were living at Roxas City when life was so poor then but never did she complained or felt down… she gave us all the support we can get by simply recognizing our inner strengths and being proud of us. She was always there with a cheerful grateful heart, always showering us with love that no material thing in this world can replace. If I were to list down everything she did for us, the list will go on and on that I might end up crying while typing = ) I am indeed happy that God gave me my mom and I hope that I can be as loving and selfless as she is.

I am also reminded of OFW-moms who left their children in the hope of a better future for them. I salute them because I know the feeling of separation from one’s family (which is unbearable for me). They are not there during their child’s bday, graduation, christmases and new years… all they can do is call them up to greet them and pray for them, something I can’t handle so I truly admire them for their great sacrifice.

And I am also reminded of the hopeful moms… wives who want to have a child of their own. All I have for them is an inspiration that I have an aunt who got pregnant after 9 years of praying and waiting but she lived a happy life even before she had a son and an adopted daughter. Why? Simply because she treated all her nieces and nephews as her own. Cliche as it may sound but motherhood is not just a biological thing, it’s something not tangible and far more important than giving birth. To my hopeful friends, God has something in store for you, just wait and enjoy life… He answers prayers ON TIME… ALL THE TIME.

To all those mothers and soon to be mothers, HaPpY MoMS’ Day… let’s celebrate this day with our families and loved ones = ) I hope this time around I can control my tears, hehe…

I have been a housewife for more than a year… no job, no stress, no alarm clock in the morning (I can sleep and wake up whenever I want) and not to mention, no extra income, hehe… hey, don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining! I love the state that I am in and eventhough I’ve always thought of getting back to work, I always feel sad knowing that I will be having less time with my Julia. I think I am the one that needs the weaning and not her… I admit, I am so emotionally attached to her!

Because I had been running the house for quite a while, I never wrote something (what’s there to write about anyway?) in straight english and one day, I realized that my grammar and spelling had been getting worse! It didn’t help that I only write to send text messages, emails and chat with friends… do you get the picture?? It dawned on me that I need to write… I simply MUST write in straight english, no shortcuts (ex. love-luv, you-u, night-nyt) no matter what… I MUST go back to the basic before the invention of cellphones and internet… otherwise, the words I learned from my daily tv/movie watching and reading will never be put into good use. I gathered all my guts and tried “blogging” because I know that in here, I can write anything under the sun… no need for serious talk (but I might try that one day, too).

…. whew! I finally and officially started writing. Honestly, it took me at least 45minutes to finish this, checking my prepositions, conjunctions and tenses as well as my flow of thoughts (pardon me if I missed a period or a comma, hehe…). Well, well, well… this is it for now. I will be writing more if I’m in the mood and oh, by the way, can someone tell me how to post pictures here? I would love to but I just don’t know how… S.O.S!!!